Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD is a condition that impacts attention, impulse and sense of time. The symptoms interfere with an individual’s regular function and development and quality of social, work and school functioning. ADHD usually appears before someone is 12 years old.
Individuals with ADHD often share a few common mental and physical behaviors:
Mental Behaviors
- Those with ADHD may fail to pay attention to details
- May make regular mistakes at work or school.
- May struggle to pay attention or may not seem to be listening when spoken to
- May struggle to follow instructions or complete tasks
- May void or be frustrated by mentally taxing or time-consuming tasks
- May be easily distracted or fail to manage their time
- May be forgetful, often losing tools necessary to complete a task
- Fidgeting or tapping of hands and feet
- Difficulty staying seated for long periods of time
- Often busy or “on the go”
- May talk excessively or quickly
- May struggle waiting for his or her turn
- May interrupt or intrude on others
Many ADHD symptoms tend to appear in patterns and can be addressed with a combination of medication and talk therapy. You should consult a doctor and have patience as you try to find the right medicine or combination of treatments that work for you. Participating in talk therapy may help you communicate how if feels to have ADHD and educate those you love on how they can best help. Clear communication and learning to spot patterns in your life before they become issues can be very freeing for someone with ADHD.
ADHD Impacts Relationships
Does your spouse say you are a poor listener or that you seem like just another child in your home? Do those you love lose patience with you because you are never on time or you forget to bring supplies you intended to? Or is your partner the one failing to do what he or she says they will? Are you frustrated that your partner is not pulling his or her weight in the family? Does your partner make rash decisions or make impulsive purchases that impact your finances? If this sounds familiar, chances are, you or the person you love may have ADHD.
If you or someone you love does have ADHD, become an eager learner. Use free online resources, consult with your physician or a counselor to learn how ADHD manifests itself in your life. Once you know more, here are a few suggested tools you can use to react to symptoms as a team:
- Ask your partner about their motives instead of assuming they “just don’t care.” Give your partner time to explain why they made the choice they did. Often it has nothing to do with their feelings towards you.
- Respond to symptoms productively. Instead of being hurt by their distraction, communicate how you feel or the message your are getting. Make up for the feelings of disconnect by scheduling time to just focus on each other.
- Set up consistent expectations to help your partner become more reliable. If an old system or expectation is not working anymore, a partner with ADHD can learn to ask for “different” help.
- Work with a professional such as a trained counselor to work on improving systems of communication, laying out expectations or negotiating solutions that work for both partners.
About The Author: Hayley Jensen holds a B.A. in Journalism and a Master’s Degree in University Administration and is a contributor to the Renew Relationship Counseling blog. Renew Relationship Counseling is a therapeutic clinic that specializes in relationship- focused services. For more information, visit www.RenewRelationshipCounseling.com
Sources:
- https://www.addrc.org/dsm-5-criteria-for-adhd/
- https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adult-adhd-your-relationships#3
- https://www.addrc.org/the-adhd-effect-on-marriage/
- Photo by Robert Bye on Unsplash
- Photo by Jonathan Sharp on Unsplash
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This article is for information purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition, nor to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical, mental health, or relational condition. Never disregard professional medical or mental health advice, or delay in seeking it,
because of this article.
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