Communicate Needs - Communication is going to be the make-it or break-it for most families during times of stress and isolation. It is important that families communicate their needs clearly and often. Attempt the following when communicating needs:
- Communicate needs during moments of calm.
- Use statements like, “I feel” or “What I’m experiencing is” to avoid criticism, blame & personal attacks.
- If conversations become defensive, take a deep breath and try to continue calmly.
- When emotions are high, it is best to wait to communicate until emotions return to calm.
- Try to place yourself in your spouse’s/child’s shoes and attempt to experience their experience.
- After they have shared: 1.) Thank them for sharing, 2.) Reflect your understanding of their needs and their feelings, 3.) Express your love, and then 4.) Attempt to communicate your perspective and needs.
- Communicating and listening in this manner takes lots of practice. Be careful not to place too much pressure on yourselves to get it right and resolve your problems all at once! Be patient and practice.
- Having a Code Word (e.g. “time-out”) can be helpful to indicate a break is needed.
- Designate places for quiet retreat when tensions become too high (e.g. bedroom, bathroom, backyard, etc.) This allows each member of the family time and space to deescalate.
- Identify a time to try the conversation again (breaks typically need between 5-30 min.)
- Table high-intensity conversations for a later time, or for addressing with professional help.
- Make a list of the specific things that help your spouse and/or children feel the most love.
- Look for frequent opportunities to invest in those things (a hug/kiss, praise, help, a treat, a wink, etc.).
- Regular loving investments dramatically improve connection and influence in relationships.
- Strong connection reduces instances of conflict, decreases hurt during conflict, and supports a faster recovery following conflict.
Local Resources:
- Renew Relationship Counseling: Individual, Couples & Family Counseling Services
- Talk with one of our Licensed Relationship Specialists via Online Therapy and Coaching services
- Videos on a variety of communication and conflict resolution topics
- Articles to support marriage and family wellness
- Learn more at: www.RenewRelationshipCounseling.com
- Utah.gov “Utah Health & Social Services”
- Health and Community Resource Information
- Learn more at: https://www.utah.gov/residents/healthandss.html
- Utah Domestic Violence Coalition:
- Domestic Violence Prevention, Training and Help
- Learn more at: www.udvc.org
- Wasatch Mental Health
- Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
- 24-Hour Crisis Mental Health Consultations: 801-373-2215
- Learn more at: www.wasatch.org
- LDS Family Services
- Counseling Services
- Support Groups
- Addiction Recovery
- Learn more at: https://providentliving.churchofjesuschrist.org/lds-family-services
- In an Emergency, Dial 911
Renew Relationship Counseling - One of the best therapeutic services in Utah County! Specializing in: Counseling Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Marriage Therapy, Couples Counseling, Couples Therapy, Family Counseling, Family Therapy, Relationship Workshops and Retreats. Now with locations across Utah County in Springville and American Fork! Also offering services online!
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Disclaimer: This document has been prepared for general information purposes only. The information presented is not legal advice, is not to be acted on as such, may not be current and is subject to change without notice.